2:00 Am- Me, My Mother, and My Emotions

Sometimes it is tough to share how bad it feels when you miss someone who has been with you always. I am feeling insomniac as I am missing my mom so much. I never realized that everything would be going to change, just in the blink of an eye! We're acting as a shield for each other at one time, but at the same time, we feel so vulnerable that why didn't we do the best for them. In this bustling schedule of my life, it's not that I communicate less to my mom. She is my morning and, of course, a dessert before I go to sleep! Maybe I am getting too emotional at this moment because today she is not well, and it feels like I could have been there with her. I can't put the feelings into words; my sunshine is 400km away from my city. I wish to see her and murmur in her ears that maa I am with you. I wouldn't say I like this feeling of being apart and sometimes making me think more often about why we're all alive when we all have to live our lives separately. During my childhood, I have never had expectations and believe me, and I was the happiest kid. But as time moves slowly, I'm getting more focused, always in trouble, and find out when I'd be seeing a better life. I am stuck in this site where I do not understand whether to embrace the situation that comes to your way or to pack my bags and get back to my place. Of course, my mom would be angry if she came to know that my emotions towards her are making me low. I guess there is no motivation left in my life, or am I feeling too much anxiety? Argh! I wouldn't say I like this feeling though